.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg)
SENTIMENT INDICATOR
US DOLLAR INDEX
GOLD
DOW
NASDAQ
GOLD 15 MIN
NIKKEI
DAILY FX CHARTS
IF THERE'S ONE THING WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE MORE OF IN LIFE, IT'S F-U-N
JOKES FOR FOLKS
Economics explained with the use of Cows
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRISH CORPORATION:
Get the rest of the EU to subsidise your two cows and the milk production, then sell it back to them, for an inflated profit.
New CEO
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's
Homeless man
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you buy some beers with it instead?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the homeless man said.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20+ years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, and golf!
Dusmani umrite od muke!
Powered by Forex Pros - The Forex Trading Portal.